Life

I found this on facebook a few weeks back, and it is absolutely correct.

Maybe in the persuit of being liked, of making money, of spending money, of paying bills, of going to class, or just all the hassle and bustle of life, I think, maye we lose sight of that goal in life, to be happy. Now, many have other goals like make a difference, or become a millionare or being a mom or dad, or to be a good older sibling, or to make enough to happy, or whatever our end goal might be. I think we lose sight of this goal: happiness.

I can openly admit, I have lost sight of this goal, many times recently. I get so preoccupied in going to work, going to class, attempting to get my homework done, in attempt to please everyone else in my life, in trying to plan the wedding, stressing about the church, of missing my fiance. All off these things stop me from trying to be happy. I get so stuck in the mud of busy, busy, busy; of work, work, work; that i dont see the rope dangling just above my head, that leads to the sunshines and destress of life.

Like tonight, I have to type 3 pages of my 6-8 page essay that was due yesterday. But, in order to maintain my sanity, I need to write this down. I need to write this down to remind myself that life is more than chores, its more than waddling in the mud and tiring myself out.

My goal in life is to be happy (well my main goal is, if i can accomplish this, i can accomplish the rest of them). And I need to remeber to laugh everyday.

By looking at photos like those that cause me to smile and laugh. I have to remember to do that, and if the only way for me to laugh is to look online, well that's pathetic, but at least it causes me to smile and laugh. Because, laughing and smiling lead to happiness.

They say that <3 love is apart of happiness and good health. I moved out of my parent's house, so maybe I dont quite feel the love as often as I do. Sometimes, I do crave human touch, or any touch (at my apartment animals are not aloud). That is appart of happiness.
Thinking of my fiance helps me to remember the love, but at the end, it really just causes pain and sadness. I miss him so much. My last month of summer was spent with him and work and that was it. It was pure perfection. If everyday could be like that, I would completely do that. But, as we all know, we must prepare for the future. And by going to college, I am trying to do that. (In reality, I just dont want to owe anyone money, so I am taking classes because I won scholarships so pay for my classes and I do not want to ruin my future potential chances at winning scholarships).
But, as i recently learned, not missing him is worse than the pain of missing him. I can't find the icon, but I read an icon that stated: Missing someone is your hearts way of reminding you, you love someone. I wish I had it, and I could post it. But somehow, I guess I've lost it. But I remember the quote and its true. That's why, even when you miss someone, you need to keep missing them, no matter how much it hurts. I have a story for that, maybe I'll tell it later.
But, yes, happiness is the key. And maybe, hopefully, I can find this happiness and keep it. Even with all the busy and work in my life, because I want to find happiness. And yes, maybe it'll be easier to have when my fiance is home and my best friend is out of jail. But right now, I have to try to find happiness before I become succumbed by the stress of it all.
I have to remember to little things in life.

• The small joys like the sunrise,
• the smile a lil kid gets when i give them a sticker,
• the fond look a parent gives their child,
• completing a homework assignment that was hard,
• getting a perfect drawr, the nice old men who go out of their way just to say hi to me,
• my favorite customers,
• the better coworkers who mean so much to me.
• and here's one special to today. One of my best most closest friend told me she missed me, that she woke up thinking about me and that i give her hope in love and everything else. When, I honestly thought this person no longer thought about me. We've been through so much together. Maybe, probably, I'll dedicate a whole post to her. She really means so much to me. I'll tell our story, and that will explain why this meant so much to me. I can't today because its 9:27pm and I have to get up at 6 tomorrow, if i attend english (i doubt i'll have the 3 pages typed, or i'll just stay up until midnight tonight getting it done. but i have to close at the store tomorrow, decisions decisions)
• or maybe the fact that i can feel and have all of my sensations in my body
• that my parents are married
• that at age 18, i am getting married to my first boyfriend whom i only met a few months ago
• that he does love me, and i know that because i told him no sex until marriage, and he never pushes me to that point, never argues it, never any of that. he respects my choice and that means a lot

Not that my life is perfect, but we all have our list of the few good things going on in our life. And, I think, at the end of the day, we all need to remember that.